Today is October 1, officially the start of Q4. I started in my management role in Q3. It’s been 3 months! Arguably 3 months isn’t long, and I’m not even a full-time manager (I still do IC work), but I can feel the difference in my headspace already. I know I’ve settled in to the role because my thoughts have taken a different shape – from a small technical blob to a wider, expanding, holistic bubble. I now think about someone else’s growth and how my actions will impact the company. It’s a perspective that enlightens me and makes me think more deliberately.

And so today, I want to organize the snippets I’ve written down - what I realized over the course of 3 months - about people management.

1. Observation skills go a long way

I learned that I could help my reports by just being attentive to the things they are saying over a course of time. I noticed that they may say different things at different times, and ultimately that just means that they are either undecided, or they haven’t taken the time to understand their thoughts more. As a third party I am in a good position to help them sort out the knots in their heads, to question their assumptions, to help them decide and commit to that decision by taking into account what i heard from them over time.

In a related vein, observing and making mental notes of your reports’ preferences will help you adapt to each. Should you be providing more feedback? Or are you being helpful to them just by listening and by being their rubber duck? What motivates them? In what kinds of projects will they shine?

2. You have to choose your words carefully… or do not speak at all

I found that it sometimes (most times?) helps to withhold my thoughts and opinions – what I think is right might be something the other person has to arrive at on their own. I found myself deliberately inhibiting my usual frankness and assertion. I would keep quiet and just listen, or say something more discrete in an attempt to nudge their thinking towards a realization. I do this by asking questions, sharing stories and ideas. This way, I don’t dictate or override someone else’s opinions. Ideas and actions are more powerful if intrinsically-driven.

Also, because I’m neither eloquent nor soft-spoken, it was a challenge to make sure that I don’t sound too aggressive when I’m expressing negative feedback and opposing opinions, especially given that I’m in a position of (relatively more) power. This is a necessary skill that I had to develop (and am still developing) since I started taking on tech leadership roles in projects.

3. Management takes a good chunk of (non-billable) time

It goes much more beyond the weekly 30 to 60-minute 1:1s with reports. I found that if I am to take my reports seriously, I need time to think about their goals, what they’re saying AND not saying, and to find (even create) ways to help them (e.g. Do I need to take action? Is there an opportunity i can open up for them? Who are the people I need to talk to?)

I read somewhere that being a manager means you have to learn how to play the game at your company. I find this to be so true, but I don’t mean to say there’s an exploitative game being played at Thinking Machines. To me it just means that I have to understand the different low-level and high-level systems that are affecting the company.

To add to the weekly 1:1s, there are also scattered ad-hoc events over the week when you need to give your attention to your reports. This may be to ask for immediate feedback on a task, or to ask about something that’s bothering them. I’m not complaining, but I try to uphold myself to the standard that I am available to them when they need me, (I’m hoping that makes a difference to them!)

4. It can get lonely

I’ve read this somewhere before I became a manager, but I didn’t expect to really feel it. It’s true: it can get lonely because of that position of (relatively more) power. Even if I’m very good friends with my reports (I am, because I already knew them before I became their manager), I still can’t be completely candid with them. I had to be more careful of expressing my opinions, feelings, and any thoughts that may affect their trust and perception of me and the company. I also had to be more careful with peers who are not my reports. As a manager I have to be a role model and uphold a standard. And this goes both ways – I’m pretty sure they also cannot be completely candid with me. Again, I’m not complaining. It’s a little sad but that’s work, and work is work.

Those are the four big things. There are other things I’ve learned, but maybe I’ll save them for another time (…trying to not be a perfectionist who never gets something pushed out because it’s not complete or perfect 😅)

All in all

People management is not so bad, but I can see that it’s not for everyone. Is it for me? I’m not sure yet, but I don’t hate it, in fact, I find it quite interesting because of all the high-level perspectives I get to take on humans and systems. Am I doing well? Hmm I don’t think I have enough data points yet to build an educated answer. I have so much more to learn, though. and I’m excited. 😄🤞🏻